This is Ezgihan. One of the few people I would jump under a train for. I know I bang on about how close my friends are to me, but Ezgi is in a completely different league. I had never had a friend a close as her. When I was a teenager, until I was 18, I still lived with my step-dad. He made my teenage years hell, because he wouldn't let me do anything. I was allowed to go out, but only until 10 o'clock, and most of my friends didn't come out until nine. Add to that the fact most of my friends lived a 20 walk away, (and a twenty minute walk back) gave me 20 minutes on average with my friends. I wasn't allowed to have friends over at my house, so as a result I wasn't happy to go to my friends houses because I would be unable to reciprocate. Because of all this, I never really had a 'best-friend' like you see on TV. When I came to university, I was very happy to find a girl in my corridor who loved food, French films, cheese, good music, and was also an insomniac. We forged a very strong friendship. It all started the saturday after we all moved in. Ezgi had moved in late, so she arrived with all her suitcases while we were having a party. We invited her to join, but we were playing twister, and she was put off, so she left.

Over the next few weeks, we would pass each other on campus or in our corridor and exchange pleasantries, but it wasn't until James left a wet sock at her door randomly one night that our friendship really boomed. She proceded to twat James with the sock and they were running up and down our corridor shouting and screaming. Afterwards, she joined me and James for a cigarette, then invited us to her room for Turkish coffee and fried halloumi. That was the point where we were first friends.

Since then, we have always been close enough to not have to do anything, we could just enjoy each others company. She left for Turkey a lot last year, and we always threw her going away and returning parties. We stayed at her houses in Bodrum and Istanbul over the summer, we are friends with her older sister (who is still at Nottingham University), but this year Ezgi has been in London. I found it very hard to adjust to this new distance, but I have accepted it over time, and now I realise, distance doesn't change how close I am to somebody. My best friend is still my best friend whether she is in Nottingham, or in London, or in Istanbul. I cannot deny difficulty though. Ezgi and I shared a bond that did not extend to James and Nikki. She was my sole confidante, as I was her sole confidant. We shared everything. We spent six or seven nights a week together. We went to the Turkish supermarket together. She practiced Turkish with me. I've lived in her house. We watched PowerTürk (Turkish equivalent of MTV) together. We always went into Nottingham together. And then she left. Where was my sex-less companion? We always joked about how she wants an English passport, not so she can move here, but just so she can come whenever she wants without needed a visa, so she asked if she could marry. I said yes, in half-serious. [It wouldn't be for several years, and if I am able, I may aswell, and also Turkey may have joined the EU by the time I graduate]. So we referred to each other with Turkish petnames.

At the minute she isn't speaking to me. I shouted at her over MSN because she asked Nikki to go and stay with her for a week next week. A) Where was my invite? and B) Why Nikki? Nikki never bothered with Ezgi last year. Whenever we actually managed to get her to come to Ezgi's room (rather than sit on the phone to one of two boyfriends), she would just sit there tutting at the fact we were smoking, and then go. Nikki came to Turkey with us, and because she was a girl, she stayed in Ezgi's room, and all of a sudden they were best friends. Ezgi was taking loads of pics of them together, yet had never asked me to be in one. I know I'm being really petty, but I just hate feeling overlooked. So, Ezgi invited Nikki, I stressed, and instantly felt bad and apologised, but she is still ignoring me. (I realise I had to go through a lot to explain why I'm feeling slightly less than perfect today, but it was necessary, and provides you with a window) I feel like I have stepped on myself and my own happiness.

I hope she remembers soon how much she means to me.